The other 3 do fairly well at what I feel are the basics:
- To use their manners - please, thank you & excuse me.
- Acknowledge when they are spoken to (ok, we're working on this one).
- Use kinds words and treat others the way they want to be treated.
Now, the other things that are been bothering me lately are more of the "gratitude" thing. Like taking care of their toys. I don't mean just picking them up, but more of, not BREAKING them. Not throwing them around and treating them as though they didn't care. How do you teach respect of things? At this point, I just get upset and take it away from them.
I don't want to be over-the-top, I know that they will NOT be perfect. But when their desires become demands and their actions become thoughtless......it sends so many emotions through me and most are no good.
Do you think it's true that the less a child has, the more he/she appreciates "things?"
3 comments:
I really struggle with this one Stacy!!! I debate this all day long in my lil head!! I can say that Brevon is worse than the girls but I find frustration in cast off toys and not wanting to pick up and show off toys (placing them on the shelf so you can see them.) Let me know if you discover a sol'n, it may help my inner turmoil. :-)
I think that boys are just generally rougher on things....I find that it's fascinating to them to discover "What exactly do I have to do to demolish this?" They don't think about the long-term, like...if they destroy it, they can't play with it any longer. However, my daughter can be guilty of not respecting her things...just usually not in as blatant a way.
I'm not sure what the psychological effects of continued destruction are, though. LOL I try to nip it in the bud as soon as I can. But it's easier said than done at times.
As frustrating as it is when you've invested money in the toys, I think it's much more important that they learn to respect people and God than things. Though respecting property is something that is especially important as they get older when the potential for destruction is greater. (i.e. teenagers with more freedom, etc.)
Here's an idea....the next time they really want something, delay the gratification....say something along the lines of "Remember how you treated ____________? Well, I think I need to think about whether or not you deserve another toy/book/etc. before we get it. Maybe you can prove to me that you are going to work harder to take care of your things and then we'll see if we can get this for you the next time we come here." It may cause a fit at the time, but if you continue to remind them that they didn't get XYZ because of the behavior, it will probably serve as a powerful reinforcer.
And take heart, it does get easier to get through to them as they get older. Your challenges change though, and become more complicated.
:O)
Oh, also....for things they already have, putting the actual toys in time out has worked for us. They tend to appreciate the things more when they haven't been able to play with them in a while.
Just another idea....
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